Your Teenage Daughter Is Bucking The System: Why Tradition Isn’t Always The Best Route

“I can’t wait until I’m a senior, and I get to do all the cool things that seniors get to do!

I’ll have my own car.

I’ll be driving myself to school.

I’ll get to leave school grounds whenever I want.

Oh, and I can’t wait for the school prom and all the fun activities that seniors get to do!

And graduation, that’s going to be the ‘bomb’!”

It seems like your daughter has spent a lifetime envisioning her prom dress, high school graduation and all the special senior activities that land right smack in the middle of her pivotal years.

Her once unabashed enthusiasm, however, can quickly fade like rain puddles under a midday tropical sun.

This is especially true when her experience is clouded by the challenges of anxiety and depression.

She has likely spent many days dreading that respite some call “lunch”.

“Do I dare sit at a table where other kids are already sitting?”

“Do I take the chance of getting in line and feeling awkward while seemingly longtime friends excitedly chat it up “

“Maybe I’ll just skip lunch and wander the halls.”

Honestly, high school can be a heart wrenching experience for any teen. When you add in mental health anguish, it can feel like a prison term with no hope of parole.

Think about it, your daughter drags herself out of bed at the “dead ass” (her word) crack of dawn which completely goes against your teenage daughter’s natural rhythms and sits in classes, probably bored out of her mind for most of her waking day.

The fact that she “has” to do it again(because that’s what’s expected isn’t it?) 5 days in a row with a pack of homework loaded on for the weekend creates a burdensome sense of overwhelm.

And so it’s pretty clear why your pained child may find the whole concept of school particularly mindless, especially as she seeks meaning in her young life.

And so why do you insist that that she take in the daily shrill of periodic bells that remind her that she is just not moving fast enough?

And why must she subject herself to the drone of teachers just waiting for that Friday paycheck?

Now, if you’re like most parents, your response may go something like this:

“She ‘has’ to go to school!  If she doesn’t, she’ll miss out on so many opportunities!  She’ll end up working a dead end job.”

Hmmm….do you really believe that or have you been conditioned to believe that?

Or is it more about what others may think?

Perhaps you might feel that you’ve failed as a parent if your child opts for a GED or chooses to take a gap year.

And telling your daughter that she should go to prom, because that’s what everyone does and you don’t want her to miss out is all about YOU and not her.

Furthermore, insisting she attend graduation, because it’s an important event in her life is again, all about YOU and not her tender heart that begs to learn to trust again.

The reason your daughter is choosing to buck tradition is because it does not make sense to do what doesn’t feel right for her.

Face it, her vitality has already been compromised with the weight of depression. Forcing her to partake in activities that add more weight could potentially smother her to the point of no return.

What’s the real priority here?

Making sure she fits into a cooker cutter society or that she learn to be happy doing what feels right for her in any given moment?

Yet you still claim that she might later regret her choices.

Here’s the stark reality. 

Later may never come if you don’t address her primary need, RIGHT NOW…

…that of healing and transforming as she evolves into the most magical being you could possibly imagine.

Give her the time to rest. Get her the extra support. Be there for her in a way you won’t be able to once she becomes of legal age.

You have 2 choices.

Allow your daughter to drown under oppressive expectations

OR

Allow your daughter to authentically live life on her terms.


After all, it is her own unique journey.  Allow her to design it, like any great artist would when able to access open-ended creativity.

For this is what will truly make her happy as she carves out her own place in the World!

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You can also connect with us HERE if you want help in empowering your Teen to be resilient!

Breaking The Mold: 3 Invaluable Insights Into Your Teen’s Current Struggle

Growing Pains As Evidence Of Growth

You scroll through your friends’ Facebook pages and see photo after photo of smiling faces and warm embraces. You are literally on the sidelines watching as their Teens receive academic accolades and reach athletic achievements you can only dream of for your own Teen.

Wistfully, you may say to yourself, “It just seems so unfair. Why do they seem to have it all? When will my Teen get a chance to shine?”

To make matters worse, you KNOW the genuine gifts your Teen possesses. You have witnessed your son’s athletic prowess, have heard the soulful song slide like silk out of your daughter’s mouth.

You see his or her ability to problem-solve, have been often captivated by his or her incredible intelligence and perceive glimpses of his or her greatness.

And so again, you wonder about his or her powerful potential. Will it ever surface?

The answer depends…

…on your perspective.

Perhaps it already has.

Or perhaps it’s growing through your Teen’s pained expression of a willingness to reach greater heights not yet imagined by the average family.

What if…

…your Teen was Divinely designed to master the mundane simply to gravitate to awesome achievements like those of the Wright Brothers, Albert Einstein or a Mozart?

Hindsight generates gold-like insight, and so to continue…

I begin with a quote by Mark Twain: “Comparison is the death of joy.”

Many adults would do well to heed this advice.

You see, let me remind you that each and every person on this planet was created in his or her own unique way, and that includes your Teen.

On top of that, each came with a specific role that many call “Purpose”.

Considering some adults wait a whole lifetime to find their “Calling”, I believe it’s a good idea to cut your Teen a little slack.

Because here’s the deal, a preparation phase for a far-reaching destiny naturally requires extra time and extra effort.

Let’s consider a pea shoot versus a bamboo shoot. The second half of their name is about the only thing they have in common.

To begin, a pea shoot can sprout literally in just a few days’ time or even less! Yet, it is fragile and of little benefit if someone were to want to build a home out of it.

On the other hand, a Chinese bamboo tree takes 5 years of careful watering and fertilizing before it breaks through the ground. Once it does, it can grow 90 feet tall in just 5 weeks!

It’s also surprisingly strong and resilient and a great building material!

Let that one sink in for a minute or two!

Insight #2:
Did you forget that the tallest and strongest person is likely to experience more growing pains than the typical human being?

I’m talking about the aching legs and the dull pain felt in the arms when bones are growing! (Think of Manute Bol!)

Well, guess what? Nature has a way of being pretty consistent once she settles in on a theme.

The type of transformative growth that your Teen is experiencing is demonstrated in his or her current, TEMPORARY struggle.

Believe it or not, that’s great news, and news you can choose to get excited about or not!

And so no, he or she won’t remain a benchwarmer in life, unless that’s what he or she truly wants.

In fact, he or she is more likely to develop resounding resilience and an ability to persevere through the greatest of challenges.

Think of it like a Baby “Out the Gate” Boot Camp that is actually giving your Teen a head start on life!

The key is to offer the proper support, guidance and protection (without being overbearing) on his or her journey, so that he or she comes out the other side ready to take flight…

Much like the magnificent Monarch butterfly that can travel thousands of miles!

Insight #3:

Your Teen didn’t come with a roadmap.

There’s no GPS, not even a blueprint.

There is though, a footprint, in fact, many footprints, left by those who have “taken the road less traveled” (Thank you Robert Frost)

It is the keys to self-mastery that allows each to become the architect of his or her own life.

It is like a recipe with carefully crafted ingredients determined by each individual.

In a sense, your Teen gets to create his or her own decadently delicious, marvelously moist chocolate cake!

These ingredients are high level character traits properly baked in a mental attitude of fortitude and grace that attract that which he or she seeks.

However, without the keys to that “Ferrari” type of fulfilled life, your Teen may wander aimlessly for years, feeling no true contentment….

…with an empty tank, so to speak.

This is dangerous as it can lead to despair and a wish to give up.

It is important not to squander the opportunity that has presented itself in your Teen’s rebellious spirit.

And so again, as already mentioned, with the proper support, guidance and protection, your Teen can flip the seemingly rude twist of fate (sometimes expressed in his or her demeanor!) to one that can literally open star gates!

In closing, remember this…

Your Teen IS a Star, and your Teen IS Great!!!

Starry, Starry Nights are to be cherished!

For further insight, consider buying our latest book: Kicka$$ Happyness: Step Into Your Authentic Power With Grace And Creating The Life You Desire.

And if you’d like access to the secret sauce we’ve created for your Teen, check out our FREE Case Study Video, RIGHT HERE!

To More Respect, Resilience And A Readiness To Thrive!