The Danger Of Trapped Emotions In Your Teen, And What You Can Do About It!

Almost as if overnight, your sweet, angelic Teen seems to have become increasingly defiant. She has become reactive and highly sensitive to what appear to be trivial matters. In fact, it may seem like you are walking around on eggshells, waiting on that next emotional outburst. Some parents chalk this behavior up to teenage hormones. Other parents believe it may go a bit deeper. Either way, it’s a pretty fair guess to assume that ALL parents wish for more harmony in the home.

And so if it’s not just your average teenage hormonal rampage, then what is it?

Is it possible to level out these extreme behavioral patterns, or are you doomed until your Teen reaches adulthood?

First of all, you must accept that your Teenage child is going through some major changes on many different levels! These changes are not only physical; they are also both mental and spiritual in nature.

Essentially, your Teen is learning to navigate a greater awareness of the World around him. He is trying to grasp the meaning of life and to integrate his own knowledge that now includes information from outside the home.

This is when she begins to question some long held beliefs that she realizes , whether consciously or not, have been programmed by YOU!

Ouch!

Just stating facts!

Moving on, trust that it’s all good.

This is a normal developmental phase for your Teen. It is where he begins to embark on a life destiny independent of you other than your ongoing love and support.

Ok, ok, but what if the struggle seems too deep ?

What if she is overly aggressive or passive, increasingly enraged or falling deeper into despair and even depression? What if he seems to care less about life, begins to skip school, spend excessive amounts of time alone, on a screen, or running with the “wrong” crowd?

What if…

…typical teenage angst turns into life-threatening behaviors that keep you up at night?

… fill your days with incessant worry?

…leave you wondering who this stranger is in your house?

If this is the case, then it is very likely that not only is your Teenage child dealing with the typical trials and tribulations of the teenage years. There may also be trapped emotions from earlier events or circumstances that were particularly challenging. To avoid the pain of such situations, your Teen may have done what many at any age do. He may have pushed these difficult emotions and the feelings attached to them, deep into his subconscious.

The problem is that these emotions fester over time, creating a snowball effect of heavy, dense energy in the body. What this means, is that every single, ever so slightly challenging event blows up like a volcanic eruption, spewing tirades that include stomping around, banging doors, and pounding fists on walls.

Why? Because the energy needs to be released. It can’t be stuffed down forever! Eventually, it has to come up, it has to move, it has to be released! Otherwise, your Teen will literally suffocate under the weight of her own oppressive emotions.

These emotions might include grief, sadness, anger, loneliness, or a feeling of being abandoned or unloved.

And so, HOW do you get your Teen to release these trapped emotions that he may not even be aware of?

And what can you do to help make this happen?

First of all, DON’T put it off any longer! It’s like a warning signal on your dashboard that says your air pressure is low. You address it right away. If not, you end up on the side of the road with your shredded tire across all lanes for all to see. Not to mention that it can endanger other drivers on the road!

Avoid that mess at all costs!

And so here are 3 things you can do, RIGHT NOW, to help your Teen to literally cough up, perhaps spit up those nasty emotions!

1. COMMUNICATE: However it can be done at this point, tell your Teen what your concerns are. Remind her how much you love her and that you want the best for her. Mention that you seem to notice a bit of a struggle. Identify what you believe the root cause may be, and be willing to own any part you may have had in her struggle. This is a biggie, because it lets her know that she’s not alone in addressing the issue. She will wholeheartedly appreciate your vulnerability!

2. COME UP WITH AN ACTION PLAN: Make some suggestions to your Teen and see where he’s willing to do some work. Be prepared ahead of time with multiple avenues for healing and transformation. Options may include traditional talk therapy, group therapy and art therapy. Other choices may involve homeopathy, the use of flower essences, energy work or sound healing and a host of other very potent practices. Your teen could also opt to sign up for yoga classes or take up group prayer or meditation.

3. IMPLEMENT THE PLAN AND HAVE YOUR TEEN TRACK HIS/HER PROGRESS: A plan is no good unless it is put into action. It is critical that you support your Teen in ensuring that they commit to the plan. In fact, coming up with an easy way for your Teen to track his progress will empower him. The visual will motivate him to keep going, and will help him feel a sense of accomplishment!

BONUS: DO IT NOW!!!!!!

For more secrets on how we were able to turn around the behaviors of hundreds of Teens, check out our FREE training video: Turn Around Your Teen.

Also, Consider buying our latest book: Kicka$$ Happyness: How To Step Into Your Authentic Power With Grace And Create The Life You Desire.

Our Trauma lives in Every Cell of our Body: Unleashing Trapped Emotions is the Key to Healing

When we look at the human body, we tend to see a whole unit on a superficial level that may display badly bruised discolored skin, scars, scratches and other injuries as a result of physical trauma. It is often painful to see, and it warrants immediate attention. However, once the physical wounds of injury, whether accidental or not, disappear, it is often the emotional scarring and the spiritual wounding that becomes deeply embedded into our bodies. Now, although these deeper, longer lasting effects of trauma can manifest in a variety of ways, there is research that proves that “traces of trauma” exist in each and every cell of the body. That’s trillions of cells that have been designed to perform critical functions in the body that are now compromised in ways that we can’t even begin to imagine.

This builds on the premise that everything is interconnected in the most intricate way and that everything is energy. (This was first proposed by the inventor and electrical and mechanical engineer, Nikola Tesla.) For example, let’s examine the pixels which make up an image. Each pixel contributes a critical piece to create a full image. Missing just one pixel will undoubtedly distort the image in a way that may not be perceivable to the naked eye, yet will remain a distortion, nonetheless. Now, if we factor in the belief that everything, including our bodies, our thoughts, our emotions, and our feelings, is energy, then it would be quite easy to conceptualize the fluidity of energy in creating various patterns in our bodies based on our most dominant thoughts.

And if our thoughts are riddled with fear and anxiety around any past traumatic event or circumstances, then it is very likely that this “energy” will pervade and perhaps even invade every aspect of our being. This would include the trillions of cells that make up our tissues which then make up our organs which in turn comprise the systems in our body which together become our physical body. Essentially, we are bodies within a body, much like planets make up solar systems which together form galaxies which all belong to a Universe. We can further liken it to an ecosystem. If we were to destroy the species at the bottom of a food chain or to pollute a water supply within a system, it would most certainly affect the entire system in a less than favorable way. This goes without saying. The same is true for our bodies…and our minds…and our spirit!

Hence, long after the visible effects of physical trauma have healed, deep emotional pain can still wreak havoc on the body. The actual trauma takes on an “energy” of its own which is often very dense. It can easily settle into your muscles, your tissues, your arteries, in your joints, and even between the synapses of your brain. And this low vibrational energy connected to a fearful event often attracts disease, because it is interacting with a field of energy (The Quantum Field) which is reconfiguring from moment to moment based on the input it is receiving from its surroundings, such as your reactions to triggers related to trauma. These triggers can be felt as unpleasant sensations in your physical body and experienced in fatalist thoughts connected to elevated negative emotions.

And so how is it possible to heal absolutely every living component in the body as a way to completely eradicate trauma? It would seem that the only surefire way to do it would be to destroy and to replace every single cell. In a sense, that would mean complete annihilation and certain death, not an option we believe anyone would choose. And so, is it a blast of radiation, a shot of chemo, a transplant of some sort??? Perhaps this is why so many believe that trauma is to be managed and never eliminated from our system.

Fortunately, because quantum physics has shown the omnipresence of a Divine Force that is at your beck and call if you so choose, you can in fact fully heal from any trauma, no matter how severe, by simply unleashing this dense energy. It’s like bailing water out of a sinking ship after an intense storm until it once again serenely floats on a gentle sea. You have the ability to remove (to transmute ) all trapped emotions and to once again experience radiant health!

It is NOT witchcraft. It is not connected to occult practices. It is the power we all have in connecting to a Cosmic Force that is both Science and Spirit. It is God manifest with its transformational elements present and available for those who wish to access them. It is called prayer. It is energy work. It is meditation. It is self-hypnosis. It is ancient Chinese medicine. It is all these and more. It is NOT alternative medicine. These are practices that are Divinely created and gifted to us! They are natural, non-invasive, and driven by love when practiced with integrity.

In fact, it is in releasing your trapped emotions that you will truly be able to tap into and to unleash a most authentic power from a most incredible Source that will you allow you to create the life you so desire!

Check out our Website: https://www.kickasshappyness.com/

And for even more, check out our latest book! https://amzn.to/33gFMsH(KickA$$ Happyness: How to Step into Your Authentic Power and Create the Life You Desire!)

"Happy Hormones" #Anxiety #Awareness #Beliefinoneself #Calm #Communities #community #Depression #Empowerment #energyhealing #Expression #Faith #Guidance #happier #Happiness #heal #Healing #insight #isolation #kickasshappyness #lawofattraction #MentalHealth #Parents #parentsupport #prefrontalcortex #rebellious #stress #struggle #support #teen #Teens #Teens #Empowerment #Parents #tips #tools #Transformation #TrappedEmotions #Trauma Dopamine Happiness Healthy Habits Kickass Happyness mamag Mental Health Oxytocin Serotonin

Your Teen’s Journey is NOT Your Journey: How to Create Reasonable Boundaries that Support Your Teen and Minimize Your Worry

The teenage years can be riddled with dangerous recklessness, poor decision-making around the need to conform, and a plethora of temptations that can easily lead to harmful outcomes, even that of death. It is no wonder that parents are often filled with angst during these trying years. Add into the mix a teenager who has experienced any level of trauma or a life-changing event such as divorce, the death of a loved one, a move, the end of a friendship or relationship, or an injury, and watch the angst elevate to unhealthy levels. The response, or more aptly called, the reaction of some parents is to exert the type of control that seems all but reminiscent of all major dictatorships. Other parents offer their teenager full reign of what can often be misguided destruction in their lives for fear of losing their connection with their teen. A focus on either of these two parenting styles is often a recipe for disaster. It is the parent that can learn to calmly collect her or himself, moment to moment, from situation to situation, who experiences the greatest success in managing the fallout of a pivotal event in his or her teen’s life.

And so how do you as a parent respond when you know that your teen is sneaking out at night, when your teen’s friends are known drug users, and when your teen is having sex with multiple partners? How do you begin to address your concerns with your teen, especially if your teen has become withdrawn and uncommunicative? How do you ensure that you do not further push away your teen who may also show indications of possible suicidal ideation or who threatens to run away? Most importantly, how is your  love for your teen best expressed during these fragile and tenuous times?

Whew!! Wouldn’t it be great to just fast forward to the young adult years, to move beyond the raging hormones and the accelerated growth of a teenager heavily leaning into increased independence? Unfortunately or fortunately, depending on the perspective, this is not  possible! To be honest, it’s not an option that would benefit either you or your teen.  In all actuality,  to skip through these critical developmental years without your potentially positive influence could have devastating results. Therefore, it can be an absolute blessing to have your teen’s darkest moments and greatest struggle happen while she or he is still a minor and under your loving watch!

Now that your depressed, anxious, and/or reckless teen is under your watch, how do you manage the ups and the downs, the  scent of marijuana on your teen’s clothes, self-cutting scars on your teen’s body, the non-responses when you call, the mumbled, one-word answers when you try to communicate, the lack of interest in family activities, your teen’s choice of the same outfit, day in and day out, your teen’s lack of hygiene, your teen’s failing grades, the calls from the school, the car pulled up outside cajoling your teen to join in against your best wishes? When do you say “yes”, when do you say “no”, and how do you say it?

To begin, every experience is unique! Your teen is unique. You are unique. With that being said, there are many commonalities that can thankfully be addressed with similar strategies, regardless of the particular circumstance. First and foremost, you as the parent must understand that your number one priority, above all else, is your role as a parent.  In order to do that effectively, and with appropriate and reasonable boundaries, you must ensure that you address your own needs just as much as the needs of your teen. For example, is it too easy to ignore the calls from the school and to overlook the glaze in your teen’s eyes when you are busy with a demanding job, and just want to sit down on the couch and watch TV after a long day? Are you tired and stressed and easily frustrated by your teen’s unhealthy actions? Do you blame your teen or are you willing to step up and be the caring adult who can instill healthy boundaries for the overall well-being of your teen?

If your answer to that last question was a “yes”, then keep reading! Now answer these next questions for yourself:

Number One: What is my ultimate goal ? (Hopefully to keep your teen alive and well!).

Number Two: What are some of the trivial matters I’m willing to let go of regarding my teenager? For example, are you going to harp on your teenager for forgetting to take out the trash when your teenager is sitting on the couch in a deep state of despair because he or she feels like she or he has no friends?

Perhaps instead, you take the trash out yourself and then come back and offer your teen some support in whatever way your teen is willing to receive it.

Be compassionate and understanding. Pick your battles which don’t have to look like battles at all!

Number Three: Be consistent and clear in your communication.  Know when it is going to be a resounding non-negotiable. For example, you may decide that medical marijuana is a better short-term solution for your teen’s deep depression than a psychotropic drug, but you will not permit your teen to smoke with anyone else or outside of the house.

Number Four: Be firm and unwavering when your teen wishes to spend time with friends who you know are partaking in unhealthy activities with your teen. Although you want more than anything for your depressed teen to have friends, friends who negatively influence your teen will only thwart your primary goal, to keep your teen alive and well!

Number Five: Let your teen make some of his or her own choices. This makes them feel as though they still have some control, and that is very important, especially when your teen is  trying to manage painful emotions that keep bubbling to the surface. For example what would it look like for your teen to NOT do their homework, to even miss a day of school once in a while? In the overall scheme, especially when you can envision a happily thriving young university graduate, beaming with pride 4 years down the road, would it make that big a difference to forgo a 10th grade homework assignment? Again, focus on the primary goal here!

Number Six: At times, whether your teen may want it or not, you may need to exert your parental authority and get the help your teen truly needs. This is not about control. This is about YOU taking charge and fulfilling your role as a parent!

In conclusion, maintain those healthy boundaries! And trust and be ever so patient that you will have the outcome you desire for your teen! As long as you continue to express your love for your teen and to support and encourage them, you will find it fairly manageable to establish and maintain those boundaries!

To find out more about how we can support you and your teen, visit us at:

Kicka$$ Happyness

You can also PURCHASE OUR BOOK!

Kicka$$ Happyness: How to Step Into Your Authentic Power with Grace and Create the Life You Desire

How to Show Up: When Opportunity Aligns With Your Vision!

Three short weeks ago, an opportunity to contribute to what would quickly become an international bestseller that shot to number one in 6 countries, presented itself. In fact, the concept for the book was birthed just hours before it was proposed to myself and 23 other incredibly gifted entrepreneurs. Saying “yes” was a no-brainer. Right away, I could see the benefits pop into my awareness like stars that suddenly appear in a blackened night sky. These “thought bubbles” included increased visibility, a further opportunity to build within a trusted community, another chance to share my story with my brand new, fully aligned branding, and to witness the whole process guided by 2 highly successful entrepreneurs. In all honesty, the bounty of blessings from my participation in this project has absolutely amazed me as they continue to unfold!

It all started with Sammy Blindell (The Brand Builder) who shared the concept around The Law of Brand Attraction in a post within her own cohesive community of brand builders. The evening before, a well-known UK publisher, Andrew Priestley, approached her with the idea of a book that would provide much needed value during the current global crisis. Given his expertise and the multitude of books he had written, along with Sammy’s own powerful network, she trusted his guarantee that a book would be ready to publish for public consumption in less than 2 weeks (It took 9 days.).

And so it was, while sitting on her boat that she calls home later that same evening, she was divinely guided as she sought ideas for the book. She quickly envisioned each of 22 entrepreneurs sharing a specific story that had birthed  some powerful branding strategies, most of which had been solidified after showing up under her tutelage in the Brand Builder’s Club. These identified entrepreneurs had already demonstrated their ability to quickly pivot under her own watchful eye and guided expertise. And so it only made sense to ask these entrepreneurs to share their specific journeys as a way to empower others to do the same. Hence, The Law of Brand Attraction began to take life, and I was fully on board with Captain Sammy at the helm!

Yes, I showed up! I had finally become a more active member of a strong community of successful entrepreneurs, and I was ready to contribute to this game changing book! With most of the co-authors living in Europe, I felt an even deeper desire to bring in my experience as a U.S. citizen. More importantly, it would increase my presence on the World stage. Global visibility had been one of the main intentions I had identified for myself in 2020. Anne Hayes/aka Mama G, The Empowerment Queen, I had decided, was ready to jump on the International Scene.

To continue, I was given another chance to courageously share my story, adding credence to my ability to serve a population of self-harming and reckless teens. My chapter further confirmed the strength of my voice and the power of my personal expression as a model for others to recognize the same. Also, I had the opportunity to demonstrate my creative intelligence in a story format that then lended itself to viable action steps for the reader as I shared my learnings!

Interestingly enough, I was supported, encouraged, and guided through the whole process which unfolded quickly, efficiently and with the greatest of ease. I was given templates, guidelines, a workbook, live demos, and constructive feedback, all within a community of energized and committed cheerleaders! We held each other accountable, provided each other with reassurance when needed, shared fun GIFs, made silly videos for each other, celebrated each other in the process, and then celebrated the victory of completion!

Amazingly,  the concept, the process, and the methods on this collective book journey were all something that I could easily duplicate with the over 100 million teens I am committed to empowering to live more positive, fulfilling lives. They perfectly align with the type of programs and projects I have created and those which I envision unfolding with time. For example, as someone with  decades of experience as a teacher, I have been naturally inclined to provide sure-fire ways to ensure student success in identified objectives and goals. For me, to be able to tell a story with the guidance of a  treasured blueprint like that with which we were provided as a contributor this book, is a valuable tool to instill confidence in the storyteller! To add to this, the power of synergy while working towards a common goal cannot be underestimated!

In fact, it is a large part of my vision to facilitate collaborative creative projects with teenagers that involve books, music albums, and the such where a cooperative effort is required. To be able to participate in just that with the Brand Builder’s Club is reassurance that it can be done, and that it  can be done with ease.  It can also be done quickly with high standards that produce dramatic results for all involved while providing tremendous value to the consumer!

As if this weren’t enough, the proceeds of the book are graciously being donated to a very special organization known as The Clear Sky Children’s Charity which essentially focuses on the mental wellness of children! Especially during this time, their supportive services are very much welcomed! Needless to say, this also aligns with my vision, as I seek to do all I can to empower happy, healthy and positive living! Furthermore, it is a goal of mine to establish my own foundation to support and empower teenagers to become leaders in their community!

To “rap” it up, because Sammy’s community gave me the courage to do so, I will rhyme on a dime, to share without the fear, this last little tidbit of a tidbit! First, know your goals; allow them to flow into your awareness with the greatest of intention to which you pay the dearest attention! Second, choose to participate in programs that activate your own planned programs. Let them be your model, your guide as a way to coddle your own rise to serve as you deserve. Finally, move beyond your nerves, and implement your intent with all the worth you have earned through your willingness to learn!

Thank you Sammy Blindell, for the opportunity to show up more and more, to clarify my vision, and to magnify my mission! You are the best!!

Thank you to Andrew Priestley for planting the seed and for your expertise!

Thank you as well to Bob Doyle and Marie Diamond for graciously accepting to be a part of this special book!

And finally, thank you to ALL the incredibly inspirational co-authors!

I love you ALL!!

Clear Sky Children’s Charity

 

 

Use the following link to…Order Your Book TODAY!

The Law of Brand Attraction

By Sammy Blindell

Contributors: Bob Doyle (The Secret), Marie Diamond (The Secret), Sammy Blindell (Founder of The Brand Builders Club), Joké Hoetmer, Jennifer Louise, Jean Macdonald, Nikie Piper, Joanna Howes, Loubna Zarrou, Lara Lauder, Pete Cohen, Gayle Edwards, Amanda Frolich, Anne Hayes, Wilma van Dartel, Ruth Driscoll, Caroline Purvey, Kerry Bartley, Brigitte Keane, Ellen Loopstra, Martin Ramsden, Alice Law, Carole Fossey, Vicki Ibaugh, Sarah Cox.

Are You Attached to Your Happiness? How to Break Free of Societal Constructs That Perpetuate a Sense of Loneliness

Happiness is defined as a state of good cheer, contentment, satisfaction, and even exuberance. Hence, there are degrees of happiness. Each degree is generated in the mind and then experienced in the body as pleasurable feelings. It is these feelings which then feed our spirit and allow us to enjoy whatever it is we are doing. These feelings are a physiological response to the release of dopamine stimulated by our senses which tell the brain that we are having a good time. These sensations may include a warm tingling in our belly, a physical lightness in our chest, or a surge of energy that easily sparks smiles and even giggles. And so why does happiness seem so elusive to some? Why do we spend a lifetime literally pursuing our next state of happiness and those feel good vibrations? Why are some of us more easily able to attract this state while others appear to struggle to simply get out of bed? From this author’s perspective, it is the influx of societal influences that set our mind with a programmed response that we might not have otherwise chosen.

It’s all in the mind.  Just be get over it. Be positive! Be grateful for your life! Change your attitude.  Learn to love yourself. It’s all about your MINDSET!  Uggggh! Tell that to someone who has just lost a loved one, who has experienced unspeakable trauma, who is in the midst of a break up, who has just been diagnosed with a life threatening disease, or who is a witness to daily violence in a downtrodden neighborhood. Just be happy!  Oh how we all wish to feel good even while we are experiencing these “conditions”.  After all, a rich mind accompanied by a rich spirit attracts all the beauty that life has to offer. It ushers in with greater ease, that special relationship, uplifting friendships, unexpected prosperity,  amazing opportunities, and  so much more to feed this “feel good” state.

And so how do we attain and sustain this state where we are able to enjoy the higher vibrational frequency of happiness no matter what is going on in our lives? Great question!  The answer, however, is not so simple!  In fact, it is believed by this author that it is a lifetime quest to envision our ability to feel grateful for whatever shows up in our life as a genuine gift after gift that contributes to our overall growth and expansion. Choosing to engage in life has its risks, yet it also has the potential to be the most exhilarating adventure for us! It can be likened to jumping off the bench and playing full out in a highly aggressive, intense soccer match. Injury is always a possibility and almost inevitable, especially the more we choose to participate. And so perhaps the true question is this: “Are we able to accept the injuries and the hurts, along with the moments of  victory and triumph?”

Perhaps we can learn to sit in our defeat, to allow our pain to envelop us, and to feel the full scope of what it means to dip into lower states of being. What if Society encouraged this as a way to heal? What if we felt the confidence and the trust to fully embrace these injuries to our soul, to actually verbalize our hate, our frustration, our anger, our hopelessness (without harming others or ourselves)? What if we chose to confront these  “demons” head on instead of stuffing them deep within our psyche and our spirit? What would it look like for us heal our spiritual bumps and bruises as a way to feed and strengthen our mind?

What if we were to collectively recognize the sense of loneliness and isolation that we all experience as humans when we lose something to which we have become attached? What if we were to then realize that the solution lies in realigning to our oneness with Source, with God? What if we further understood that our mind is connected to a powerful spirit, yet also to a body as a function of this physical reality?  The intended point here is that we do not operate solely from the mind within this illusion. Therefore, it is believed that in order to heal, we can choose to address a spiritual root cause felt in the body which then heals the mind. Intellectualizing our pain is the current downfall of our global society. It is not until we partake in a full-dimensional, triangulated and integrated approach that we will  return to HAPPINESS and HARMONY as a planet.

And so let’s call on our true heroes.  Let’s call on our authentic spiritual leaders who seek to empower others to heal their own wounds as a way to heal our collective wounds. Let us thank our mindset coaches for fulfilling their role while breaking free of this linear approach. Let us value a “wholistic” intervention which reveals our connection and our oneness as we move forward together, a unified community that no longer has to outdo, outperform, nor capitalize on others’ misfortune. Let us move beyond that savior mentality. Let us each be those unique drops in a vast sea that flow in synchrony in a great wave of harmony that appreciates all the elements and all the components that make up the grand mosaic of life.  We are NOT alone.

 

For more insight, check out our latest book!

Terrified Your Teen May Go too Far This Time? 7 Things You Can Do to Get Your Life Back, RIGHT NOW!

Depression is defined as persistent feelings of sadness and despondency, and it has become a national crisis, especially among our teen population.  In fact, according to the New York Times as reported earlier this year, suicide has become the second leading cause of death in our teens, behind accidents. More disheartening are the calculations by renown mental health leaders who project that the dramatic increase in teen suicide over the last decade, will likely continue. As a parent, the teenage years already provide a number of challenges as your growing child adjusts to a new identity in an ever-expanding World. This new identity involves physiological changes and an increase in overall mental cognition, along with the psychological and emotional responses related to these changes. These changes, in and of themselves, are enough for both you and your teen to grapple with. However, add in a traumatic event such as the death of a loved one, abuse, divorce, a move out of state, bullying or a disabling condition, and it’s like dropping a bomb on an already sinking ship. Eventually, life’s distractions will not be enough to ignore a pain that has potentially deepened and festered for perhaps years, a pain that begs to be expressed and released.  It can be likened to a fire alarm set off in your head that screams at  you to address the urgency of your teen’s reckless and self-harming behavior. Truth be told, it can be an absolute nightmare!

And so how do you deal with the incessant worry, the sleepless nights, the mental anguish, and the terrifying possibility that your teen may become so reckless or become so hopeless, that they don’t survive? How do you  begin to take back some level of control, some level of certainty, a greater level of hope for your teen child?  Most importantly, how do you get your life back?

It begins with YOU. The number one thing that you can do is to first UNDERSTAND that the negative behavior your teen is exhibiting is almost surely linked to a direct event or series of events in your teen’s life, such as those mentioned above. If you blame it on raging hormones and a still developing brain, you are likely in denial. Now, the event may not be evident, and thus may require a little digging or perhaps some self-reflection to identify what exactly may have precipitated your teen’s current demise. However, it is critical to pinpoint the most direct root cause, so that this root cause can be addressed and eradicated! It also shows your teen that you understand and validate their pain and that you are committed to empowering them to take back their own life!

The second thing you can do is to BREATHE!  Yes, BREATHE!  In order to take back your life so that you can help your teen do the same, you are highly encouraged to intentionally take deep breaths with full inhales and complete exhales, several times throughout the day! This is a natural way to reduce anxiety and stress as it calms the nervous system. Furthermore, it clears the mind and opens you up to more affirming potentials for your teen’s life. It is a self-care ritual that has proven to have dramatic positive effects when practiced regularly.  If your chest is tight with worry, and your breathing has become shallow, and you don’t believe you have time to do this, I suggest you  find a way to clear your schedule, so that YOU can take care of YOU, too.

In fact, the third thing you can do, right now, is to MINIMIZE any responsibilities that detract from your ability to best take care of yourself while you support your teen towards their early “dark night of the soul”. Sit down and brainstorm who you can reach out to for support. Ask yourself how you might be able to continue to provide food, shelter and other needs for your family while offering yourself more time to address the needs of your child. It can be done. Remember, you did it when your child was a newborn. You did it because you knew your newborn, completely dependent on you for all its needs, would not survive without your creative planning! Well, guess what, your child is that crying infant right now, screaming for your help; and you have the experience to respond once again as a loving and committed parent!

In fact, continue to brainstorm!  BRAINSTORM all the amazing qualities that your teen possesses.  Write down all the special acts of kindness they may have demonstrated in the past, before they became burdened by their current pain. Brainstorm all their specials skills, aptitudes, and attributes. Then brainstorm what their future looks like, right now.

Now, that you have primed your mind for positive outcomes, FOCUS on the success stories! In other words, focus on those who have made it, those who were once careless with their lives, used the drugs, made the poor choices,  succumbed to negative influences,  contemplated suicide, and through it all, survived! Reach out to live people if you can.  Go online and look for stories of teens who have overcome their challenges. Sit and watch a documentary. Watch an uplifting movie with the outcome that you envision for your teen’s life and your life with your teen! WHY? Because it has been scientifically proven that our thoughts have power. In fact, the images we visualize with those thoughts only add to the power. Without asking your teen to do anything, you can envision their life for them, and actually infuse the energy in your collective field that guides them to making better choices that contribute to their overall well-being!

If you want to take this deeper, you can intentionally sit and VISUALIZE your teen’s future, beginning right now, with the help of your brainstorming from earlier. You can tap into your breathing again, sit still to quiet the mind, and begin to see your teen living their potential happiness!  Imagine your teen happy and relaxed. What would that look like? Would they be smiling? Are they laughing and joking and having positive conversations with their new friends, with you?  How are they dressed? Are they wearing bright colors? How are they AND you when they share the results of their last report card with glowing grades? What do family meals now look like? Is your teen happy to join and to even help in preparing the meal, cleaning up after the meal? Do they go outside more? Are they spending less time in their room on their phone? Are they honest with you? Are they better at communicating? Are they enthusiastically planning for the future? Are they making better food choices? Are they more active? Keep going!  You have the power to imagine whatever it is you want!  Incorporate all the senses!

To continue the forward momentum, if  you wish to begin connecting your teen to that same dream, implementing the same powerful practices, WRITE A LETTER to your teen. Write a letter with good old fashioned pen and paper.  Take your time and make it meaningful, so your teen feels the integrity of your words. Remind your teen how much you love them and how much you want to support them on this current journey. Remind them about some of what you’ve brainstormed earlier. Tell them how it makes you feel when you eat meals together, partake in special activities together, that perhaps you miss those moments. Be compassionate, and focus on the positive. Avoid judgement or blaming. Remember, YOUR responses/reactions to their actions and their choices is not theirs to own, so be very careful with this. Keep it positive as a way to keep the lines of communication open. And if you believe you came on too hard, perhaps out of fear or worry, apologize. This will go a long way with your teen in reestablishing a healthy bond.

Now that you’ve written the letter, place it somewhere where you know your teen will see it.  Do it when they’re not around or slip it under the door.  They’re more likely to read it if they can save face by not receiving something from you when they are either challenging your boundaries or are too pained. If the letter ends up in the trash or is torn up, don’t assume it wasn’t read. Keep writing the letters. That demonstrates your ongoing commitment to their well-being. Chances are, you will begin to receive your own letters.  The key is to guide  your teen to begin to express their emotions and their feelings. These letters will eventually become calm, empowering conversations.

Can you already feel the difference? Do you feel more empowered?  Do you feel more confident about a bright future for your teen? Do you feel more relaxed with more faith? Can you envision the happiness and the harmony in your family? Do you feel like you’re getting your life back? Bravo to you for taking the time to read this and to then commit to implementing these practices!  Repeat them often! You deserve it, and your teen deserves it! Remember, depression is not a death sentence, unless we feed into it. It’s an opportunity to learn and to grow into new new ways of thinking and responding!

 

For more ideas:

Order Our Book, NOW!

.

 

 

Coronavirus-19: An Opportunity for Growth

Viruses are essentially defined as infectious agents with both living and nonliving characteristics.  It is these living characteristics which give viruses the ability to transmit disease from host to host. They do this by attaching to cells in an organism where they  literally take over the cell by reprogramming the DNA instruction of that cell. This results in replication of the invading virus instead of the reproduction of more of the specific cell that the virus has targeted! And thus, a war ensues as intelligent detection within the body system initiates an increase in temperature (fever) as a way to sound the alarm. This ultimately leads to the elevated production of white blood cells (allied soldiers) to confront, surround, and destroy the virus, along with the cell to which it has attached.

In fact, if we were to witness this event as one of the trillions of cells within the community that we call our body,  we might feel a certain level of dis-ease (disease), anxiety, and even dread. We would likely perceive it as a viable threat against our safety and even our survival. We might react with fear, and tension may build in our otherwise fluid membranes (the brain of the cell), creating rigidity and a less than optimal response to the body’s needs at that time.

However, as a human being with consciousness which houses these trillions of cells, we are not likely to panic with the  multitude of generally mundane viruses that attack our system as part of our basic life experience. We accept the unpleasant side effects of what tends to be an unremarkable, rather short-lived event. It is not until the symptoms of this “war” become more pronounced, that we begin to pay attention. This is the moment when we realize the attacks have escalated, with an enemy that has gained insidious power through our self-negligence.

This is not unlike the wake up call that many of us receive when a tumultuous string of events in our lives bring us to what appears to be malevolent misfortune. It’s as if we’ve ignored both the subtle and not so subtle signs that warn us of impending doom, unless we act swiftly and intently. It’s the mounting grief that begins to suffocate our lungs, the secrets we harbor that restrict our voice, the sinking shame that ulcerates our abdominal wall, the pent up rage that poisons our liver, the loss of faith that clouds our mind and corrodes our brain, the constant fear that hardens our cartilage, and the resistance to change that allows cancer to invade.

And so heal we must, change we must, transform we must.  This occurs at a microscopic level as well as at a macroscopic level, as communities within communities exist in a deeply intricate web of connectivity. It is at this level of awareness that we are able to recognize the value of the coronavirus as a pandemic opportunity to grow through and beyond global challenges that require change within ourselves, first, before we can expect to make a positive contribution to doing the same in honoring our planet and our humanity.

Much like we cannot thrive individually when our heart is failing, we cannot expect to do the same when there are large clusters of humanity that have closed off their love and their compassion to others. It is an aspect of us that we must confront as a way to recognize the Source of collective pain before we can eradicate it at the root, rising above the deeds of evil with the seeds of love.

And so let us honor the threat of disease and the threat of death.  Let us feel the fear at a feverish pitch to strike out hate, to eliminate the waste of disgrace and past mistakes. Let us clear the mental chatter, detoxify the body of humanity, and release ancestral wounds. Let us welcome this movement as a necessary step towards the renewal of our collective spirit. Let us embrace this opportunity for growth.

biolibretext.org

healthline.com